Friday, May 6, 2011

How to know he is a retard?


I will try not to be much of a sarcastic while bringing this up, but let us be honest, pissing girls off is some boys' "call of duty" so why not punching them in the head with these few lines?

Let me introduce to you Mr. Retard, the one I’m going to waste my time writing about in the next coming lines. He’s someone who walks on earth, breaths, and pees like any normal human being but he has some distinguishing features that any smartass can recognize from the very first beginning of meeting him.
He is someone who believes in the superiority of men over women, so he can drive better, work better, think better, eat better, and all of the “better things”.


He is a conservative. Till now i don’t understand the link between manhood and conservatism. Males who act too masculine or in other words, believe they have excess male hormones than normal human beings, say that they are conservatives. I’m not against conservatism, but why specifically this ideology?  I mean why not being a moderate, a communist, a stupidist, a donkiest…etc. There are lots and lots of other ideologies that could fit Mr. Retard actually. But here’s their theory, saying that you are a conservative means that you are old fashioned in almost everything, so by this way, your puppet, I mean girl, shall understand immediately when you say i'm conservative that she shall follow your 15th century dull rules.

He may try to be a smartass and tell you that he’ll support u in every possible way in your life, (Actually the vision in his head is seeing u making sandwiches in the kitchen) or he may be a dumbass and will say it explicitly that he will not accept to have a puppet, I mean a wife, that works and has a life.

He is a big loudmouth that is too opinionated. He wants to educate you with his too much information about everything, call him a cyclopedia, a Wikipedia, a shitpedia whatever… What does matter is that you’re dealing with a genius alien on earth so you’ve got to hold back your horses.  Mr Retard loves to express his opinion, so whenever you decide unintentionally and of course mistakenly to open your mouth and talk about anything, he will immediately tell you his precious valuable advice and opinion about the thing, as he believes he is dealing with a no brainy creature that is ineligible to solve her own problems.

He may or may not be a “women hater” and frequently uses the sentence “girls are”. This is because all the girls he met in his life were either jerks or dumpers, Lucky him!

Now, I have a very important question for Mr. Retard…Why not taking the gay path and relieve the whole world?

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