Vampirism

When i say “vampire”, you may immediately think of Edward Cullen, or if you’re not a fan of the twilight saga, you’ll think of Dracula.
Whatever! In all ways, you’ll think of a fictional/movie character that doesn’t exist. And you know that they don’t exist, right?
I thought just the same way, but guess what! Some people believe that they are real. How did i know? That’s when i typed “vampires” and then Google automatically typed “real?” i thought i was going to read some stupidly funny things in some forums or blogs. But that’s not what i found.
i found books about a new branch of science (sarcasm font) that’s called Vampirism. And found many websites that are for real vampires only. At that moment i thanked God for not being a screwy or a mentally deranged person who believes in vampires.

However, i decided to share with you some of the (insert a bad word here) stupid things i read.

How to know you’re a real vampire?
1- A pale skin, you don’t have to be white to be pale.
2- You luckily survived an accident with only a few scratches or cuts
3- you were the smartest, strongest, quickest kid in the class.
4- You look very young for your age.
5- A quicker healer than most
6- extremely energetic at night
7- you rarely get sick
8- you have extremely good vision in the dark
9- sensitive to light or heat from it
10- a colored ring around the iris of your eyes
Conclusion: we are blood drinking, human flesh feeding vampires and are not aware of this.

For God’s sake, what is so vampiritic (yea i invented the word) in the previous shit?
i mean, who doesn’t have any of the previous 10 symptoms? The fact is, they are some psychopathic creatures that are in need of a psychiatrist.

Not only this... the real vampires also have many types:
psi vampires, blood vampires, hybrid vampires, elemental vampires, Emotional vampires, Genetic vampires and many many types and sub types.
So there’s no way of thinking that u’re not a vampire, just pick your favorite type.

However, this is not what i care about, the ugly side of the story is that these freaks, out of acting like vampires, sometimes kidnap people or commit violent acts. And as they feed on blood, they buy it from hospitals or get it from donors.
Many people all over the world die waiting for blood transfusion, and are in need of this blood. I have nothing to say but pity for the world.

What it means to be a female...

I know it’s hard for many unconscious minds to accept the fact that women are discriminated. I here reveal the thoughts of someone who believes women worldwide are ignorant of their rights...

Being a female means  you’re stupid by nature
Being a female means you are not a good driver

Being a female means that whatever you wear, you are a sinner

Being a female means obeying is your only virtue
Being a female means you are not designed to innovate or do the hard jobs

Being a female who believes in feminism means you’re a lesbian

Being a female means you are too emotional

Being a female means if you laughed out loud, you are a prostitute
Being a female means smoking is wrong and immoral, while for boys it's not
being a female means your efforts to succeed should be triple that of a man
Being a female means the only weapon you have is seduction

Being a female means if you’re divorced or single it’s because you’re not good enough
Being a female means that when in a relationship, he can cheat on you while you can’t
Being a female means that the kitchen should be on the top of your priority list
Being a female means you can’t stay till midnight out of home even if you are in a safe place doing nth wrong.
Being a female means that you care about money more than a good guy, you care about looks more than intelligence
Being a female means that you are the first one to blame of sexual harassment
Being a female means you shouldn’t talk a lot

Being a female means you shouldn’t be ambitious or you’re going to ruin your personal life

How to know he is a retard?

I will try not to be much of a sarcastic while bringing this up, but let us be honest, pissing girls off is some boys' "call of duty" so why not punching them in the head with these few lines?

Let me introduce to you Mr. Retard, the one I’m going to waste my time writing about in the next coming lines. He’s someone who walks on earth, breaths, and pees like any normal human being but he has some distinguishing features that any smartass can recognize from the very first beginning of meeting him.
He is someone who believes in the superiority of men over women, so he can drive better, work better, think better, eat better, and all of the “better things”.


He is a conservative. Till now i don’t understand the link between manhood and conservatism. Males who act too masculine or in other words, believe they have excess male hormones than normal human beings, say that they are conservatives. I’m not against conservatism, but why specifically this ideology?  I mean why not being a moderate, a communist, a stupidist, a donkiest…etc. There are lots and lots of other ideologies that could fit Mr. Retard actually. But here’s their theory, saying that you are a conservative means that you are old fashioned in almost everything, so by this way, your puppet, I mean girl, shall understand immediately when you say i'm conservative that she shall follow your 15^th century dull rules.

He may try to be a smartass and tell you that he’ll support u in every possible way in your life, (Actually the vision in his head is seeing u making sandwiches in the kitchen) or he may be a dumbass and will say it explicitly that he will not accept to have a puppet, I mean a wife, that works and has a life.

He is a big loudmouth that is too opinionated. He wants to educate you with his too much information about everything, call him a cyclopedia, a Wikipedia, a shitpedia whatever… What does matter is that you’re dealing with a genius alien on earth so you’ve got to hold back your horses.  Mr Retard loves to express his opinion, so whenever you decide unintentionally and of course mistakenly to open your mouth and talk about anything, he will immediately tell you his precious valuable advice and opinion about the thing, as he believes he is dealing with a no brainy creature that is ineligible to solve her own problems.

He may or may not be a “women hater” and frequently uses the sentence “girls are”. This is because all the girls he met in his life were either jerks or dumpers, Lucky him!

Now, I have a very important question for Mr. Retard…Why not taking the gay path and relieve the whole world?